Movie Review: Charles Band's Fairy Tales (1978) with Linnea Quigley

Fairy Tales (1978) - USA - Adult Musical Comedy - Rated R

Directed by Harry Hurwitz

Starring Don Sparks, Sy Richardson, Robert Staats, Brenda Fogarty, Angela Aames, Irwin Corey, Linnea Quigley, Martha Reeves

*Keep up with The Supernaughts for upcoming interviews with Charles Band and Linnea Quigley in their Shut Up Kids podcast and later on the site.

A compelling idea for an x-rated movie, but alas the r-rated version though having a good bit of nudity also has too much filler content making the movie drag at times.

It is the prince's 21st birthday and if he wants to retain his kingdom he must get himself a princess before the deadline or else he loses it all. The problem standing in his way is exactly that, that something is not standing...upright. He cannot get excited unless it is a specific princess, one in a portrait hanging on his bedroom wall. The problem is that she has been missing for several years now and in order to find her he must go into Fairy Land where he meets the lady in the shoe. Actually the shoe is a brothel complete with Snow White and her 7 dwarfs, Little Bo Peep, Gussy Gander and any number of fairy tale and nursery rhyme characters more than willing to fulfill the prince's destiny for him.

As much as the inhabitants of Fairy Land's offers fail to excite the prince, often it is the case with Fairy Tales too. There certainly are entertaining moments in the movie. Little Bo Peep, Angela Aames, leads the way as not only having one of the most amazing bodies nature has ever produced but in also being perhaps the most entertaining performer. The torture dungeon musical number is inspired, rocking, and hilarious. Jack and Jill are quite funny as they both try to molest the prince. There are a number of good parts and numbers in this movie with a good amount of nudity, but it is the connecting parts which let it down as it devolves readily to haphazard slapstick. Even Robert Staats as the doorman to the shoe wears a bit thin with as much as he is overused in his role, which shows how they have a tendency to beat the corpse of dead humor in this if Robert Staats is wearing thin as he is really good at what he does.

Being this is the r-rated version and I have not seen nor can I find the x-rated version, I have no idea what was left on the cutting room floor or how that may have lifted the movie as a whole. Linnea Quigley's appearance is unfortunately brief, and judging by the jump-cut it appears some of her performance ended up on the cutting room floor as well. Additionally about Linnea is at this time she was quite uncomfortably youthful looking, appearing to be all of 14 or 15, though she would have been 19 or 20 at this time (according to her listed birthdate).

The movie is also much a product of its time. Aside from Martha Reeves doing a musical number in one scene, there is only one black actor in the movie, and what seems like a stereotype for the times his character is a pimp and wears a large cod piece. I am not taking a jab at the producers of this movie as I said it is a product of its time and from low budget independents to big budget Hollywood there was a lot of stereotyping along those lines.

Recommend: No. This is really a personal choice as I found myself checking the time left before this ended. It's a shame as there are good parts to this, and perhaps for someone who would find more humor in this than I did may find it to be a more enjoyable movie.

Get Fairy Tales on DVD