Movie Review: Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell (1990)

Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell (1990) - USA - Horror - Unrated

Directed by John McBrearty

Starring Debbie Dutch, Eric Clark, Carl Johnson, Len Lesser, Gloria Hylton, Dori Courtney

Dear god this was fucking awful!

When I am up front with my overall opinion about a movie, I try to provide some criticism other than just saying it is a bad movie, but when a movie is just simply this bad, I can't even form any other opinion than to say this is fucking awful.

This movie starts out with convicts escaping from a work detail, killing prison guards on detail with them while several of them are shot in the process. The escape incentive was sparked by a female cyclist innocently enough distracting one of the guards by riding past them. This same girl is a member of a sorority going on a weekend getaway at a cabin belonging to one of the sorority girl's uncle. Her uncle is an archaeologist digging at a local cave uncovering an ancient idol which in turn possesses him, turning him into a super strong and hideous creature instructed to bring the idol sacrifices. Now there is a murderous creature on the loose with a cabin filled with unsuspecting sorority girls and frat boys, and an escaped prisoner on the loose.

Wow. I actually surprised myself I got that much of a summary out of it.

The movie is mostly a bunch of good looking girls who can't act, guys who really can't act, and one girl who takes her shirt off a lot; I would say she takes her shirt off whenever the script hits a lull, but if that were the case she would be naked for the entire movie. There's one or two decent actors, and one recognizable veteran actor in the movie, but there is little any of them can do with such a horrible script seemingly written by third graders; my apologies to third graders everywhere for even suggesting they couldn't do better than this. Even the veteran actor, Len Lesser you may recognize as Uncle Leo on Seinfeld, is falling on his face having no intelligible script with which to work.

Even with as bad as this movie is, it does actually have some good points; none of which improve it, but perhaps I can say they ease up the thumbscrews just a tad. They obviously did post-production audio loops as the dialogue is well recorded throughout the movie, and some moments when the audio does not sync with the lips. There was also a well done stunt where an escaped convict gets hit by a car.

The nudity factor is one girl who takes her top off a lot. With as many good looking women in this movie as there are, this is a huge disappointment. At least more and full nudity might have eased up those thumbscrews a tad more. I cannot really comment on the video quality as my copy was a VHSrip downloaded from Archive.org and was not that good. You can get the download here.

Recommend? Not unless you are a masochist. If you don't find pleasure in torture you may want to skip this one. I wish I had.

I found out about this movie from Christopher Zisi's review of it here.

Movie Review: Satan's Cheerleaders (1977)

Satan's Cheerleaders (1977) - USA - Horror Comedy - Rated R

Directed by Greydon Clark

Starring John Ireland, Yvonne De Carlo, Jack Kruschen, John Carradine, Sydney Chaplin, Kerry Sherman, Jaqueline Cole

Rah rah sis boom bah, this movie's a dud. With a title like Satan's Cheerleaders how could it miss? Yet, like a tipsy redneck in a public restroom, it does.

A janitor at a college upset with being laughed at by the school's cheerleader squad, not that it has anything to do with his spying on them during showers (ahem), is also a member of a satanic cult. He has plans to get even with them with the help of Satan, and have the pretty blond girl, Patti, for himself. Satan has other plans for her as the squad ends up in a small town where everyone from the sheriff on down is a member of the cult and out to sacrifice the girls in a black mass.

I presume this was intended to be a comedy. With corny names like Nether, California for the town and B.L.Bubb for the sheriff, it certainly seems like it was headed there, unfortunately like the squad of cheerleaders in the movie, it gets lost along the way as well.

Kerry Sherman plays Patti who is the focus of the story, and who is definitely an attractive woman. She is the primary skin content of the movie, yet what is in the movie is not very much. The comedy as I mentioned is much the same.

Recommend: No. They had the right idea to take a popular theme of horror movies of the 70s, Satan, and mix it with a comedy exploitation movie theme, but the ingredients just are not there in any substantial proportion. Not enough sleaze, comedy or horror.

It is available on DVD and is now in widescreen. As you can tell from my screencaps my copy is not widescreen.

Movie Review: Hotter Than Hell (1971)

Hotter Than Hell (1971) - USA - Adult Comedy - Rated X

A.K.A. The Horny Devils

Directed by Al Mamar (Possibly a pseudonym)

Stars Ron Darby, Anna Travers, Annette Michael, Suzanne Fields, Judy Angel, John McGaughtery, Paul Dodge

*I did review this on my regular blog too, but I'm including screencaps with this review.

Souls coming to Hell is in a slump and to increase the traffic, so to speak, Satan sends his two bumbling sons to earth to corrupt women, but as it turns out the women are the ones corrupting them.

Yes, I did have to pad my summary of the plot. Maybe it could have gone something like 'guys with small dicks wearing funny outfits fuck girls'. Admittedly that would not have been inaccurate as for a porn movie these actors are hung like infants compared to what you would expect in a porn movie. At best they are average guy next door types in size and looks, and their looks are nothing to get excited about.

The girls on the other hand are quite good looking with nice bodies. So what we have here is your average no budget porn movie with unattractive guys fucking hot girls. At least one part of that equation is not something one wants to watch.

In fairness to Ron Darby he does have a good sense of humor and can be fun on screen with his personality. He has been in quite a few porn movies from the late 60s to the mid 70s while the industry was burgeoning. Unlike Ron Darby, a lot of the actresses in those early porn movies faded away quickly without even a footnote in history as to who they were.

As a porn movie, Hotter Than Hell is anything but. It has good looking women, but with such a lame plot and tedious sex scenes it is boring as hell...which would have been a much better name for it. The early segment in hell before the boys are sent to earth is the most entertaining part, and despite being a dark scene it is well lit. Unfortunately the next scene in a white bathroom with a pale skinned woman in the tub is such a contrast in the light difference that the eyes trying to adjust so suddenly is screaming agony.

With such good looking women as Anna Travers they could have done so much better. Sex scenes that move at a snail's pace combine with extreme, and I do mean EXTREME, close-up shots only add to the agony of the contrast in lighting.

Recommend? Oh hell no. If you think it sounds like something that might appeal to you, I suggest putting on sunglasses just before the second scene starts.

This movie is available on DVD as part of the Storefront Theater Collection with 11 other movies included.